Hi! My name is Mary sue and this is my diarea. I am a just normal 13 yr-old girl, wait let me scratch that off, i WAS a normal 14 year old that is until my birthday 2 months ago. Thad day my gradnma had a revelations to give me, she said "Mary-chan" thats what she calls me Mary-chan it is her afflexionate naming for me i dont really like it i prefer Sue but oh well, as revengeance i call her Bitney, she hates Britney Speras, she says when she's ontv "That bellatched woman they should haver her empoled! shaking her sexy body like a firey rooster how oh so unsighlty" and then she usually covers my eyes with a pirat patch that my brother (yes i have a brother will get to that leter^^) my brother used on Veronica's weddign for once and on the other eye she usually puts some pineapple jam so i cant see for a while and it stings but I DIGEST, lets get to the main topic, um, oh yeah, i call her britney but her reel names Mary Sue like me, thare has been a unending string of marys sues since very long ago in my family i am number 82932 and, os anyway she goes like it is my birthday and she goes like "Mary-chan, I have somehtign important to tell you it is a RAVALATION" she said it in a messianically fashion, i started getting the moosebumps all over my me "it is a secret about the line age of tje Mary Sues"; "What is it my grandomther Mary" (i didnt call her Brittney this time because it was a sirius event) and she answared "come here dear degenerate" she sat me on her laps but there was a pillow beteween me and us so it wasnt in pedophile,shes a woman anyway in canse you havent NOTICED, i hate g+utter minds, anyway "now that you are a 13 years old there will be some changes in your life..."
"Ch.ch.ch.ch..changes??" i said on stutter mode because relly nervous (not only that it is also a reference to a song of Davied Bowye i relly love ;)) "gradnma Sue what is..?" i was sarting to get worried, i had heard of such things from my cousin, when you reach 13 you hit poverty and you grow a penis and it bleeds every fool moon in a while... but fortunely it not the case she cleared my polterguysts away
"Look my braless child, there is a spell which befalls on all Mary Sues, and it is turned on when we turn 13. From this day oswald you will notice that boys look at you diffrently, and always in your vaccinity, they might make porposals, aks you out, even try to grape you becose for them you will be like a flashing ad that they cannot resist to click" she burped and then continued "but you MUST PRESERVERE you cannot let their wetcherd klaws upon your body, do you do understand?"
I didnt answer right away because i was still looking in the diccionary, this ravalation revealed itself to be quite a tyranossaurus, i was still looking for the word "PRESERVERE" when she decided expalin better:
"You must not have sex. you must stay a virgin until you're 20" oh i had heard about sex,... when a boy and a girl touch each others thumbs and then it gets hot they get together and put a penis inside a vagina stir it well and let it cook anf usually a baby comes out i knew all about sex but i understand grandmas have to have this conversatians, so i clamed her:
"Gramma dont worry i wont have sex i am not a slutty hoard"
"Güt" she said, her tongue unveiling her norwegian roots, "but it is not all... there is also a secret of MAGICAL!!" my eyes opened in anime, how exciting this was being!
"if you fallow the rules and dont have sex, you will get POWERS!!!!!, graduolly you will get more and more powers and incresinglly mORE POWDERFUL!!!!"
Oh how exciting, i thought, im defly not gonna have sex, i thought, not that i wanted to before i mean girls are not supposed to want to have sex those that do are bitchest hose!,
"Mother so thats why you have powers!" oh yeah forgot to mention my gramma has powers she can turn butter into toast, make chairs float and dance to rythms, shoot mouthwash out of her hands all sorsa neat stuff shes amazing i really look her up.
"yes in deed because i did not have the sex, if you do do you will LOSE THE POWERS"
"Do not crack your cucumber in cancern, i dont really like boys anyway" umm, i am NOT A LESVIAN THOUGH *points at the perverted reader* sjust in case your flithy mind was wandering...
"Ok Mary-chan" she smiled releasen me to the floor "just follow the rulers and everything will be fine"
So... that was 2 months ago, i have been a good grill and did not even lockeed guys in the eyes, i cant wait to get the powrs gran Mary says my fist power will come anytime now, oh the excitation!